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Living Peacefully

January 11, 2012nonprofitchapin1 Comment

Happy 2012! I hope you had a nice holiday celebrating with loved ones and spent the end of the year reflecting on what went well the past year and what you’re looking forward to in this one.

As opposed to making a New Year’s Resolution this year (as I did last year with stopping our TV service – which was a great decision, I might add!), I decided to adopt a 2012 mantra. My theme for 2012 is hereby:

Living Peacefully.

2011, while wonderful, was a stressful year for me. It was full of change, new beginnings, and the unknown… and consequently, I got stressed out. Not just annoyed once in a while… really stressed. I felt anxious much of the time. I was unhappy often. It was a difficult adjustment.

Now that it’s been a few months since all the big changes, I’ve gotten a handle on that anxiety. I’ve been proactive about making adjustments to my life and the way I approach stress. For 2012, I want to continue on that path in a big way.

To me, living peacefully means always approaching my life in a calm, balanced way. It means living in line with my values. It means living my life the way I want to, doing the best I can, and knowing that’s perfect.

Whenever I find myself getting worried or stressed, I think about one way I’m living peacefully, or, if I’m not, a way I could in that moment. And then I tweet it. I find telling others about how I’m living out my mantra helps me actually embody the saying. So, the next time you see me tweet how I’m living peacefully, I encourage you to think about if you’re living your life the same way, and retweeting if you agree. Because we could all use a little more peace in our lives.

– N.C.

31 Day Reset: Day 31 – My Vision Board

January 4, 2012nonprofitchapin

I’m participating in the 31 Days to Reset Your Life program at Happy Black Woman. The program is designed to help you evaluate your goals and priorities and think of them in the context of your life today and how you might be able to refocus on what’s important. Read on to learn about my experience with the challenge!

This is the final challenge for the 31 Day Reset! It’s a very bittersweet feeling. It has been amazing dedicating so much time and energy to these challenges… it has helped me focus my vision for my ideal life and understand how I can get there. But most of all, it’s helped me see that how I live my life each day makes a big difference. My attitude, approach, and mentality are what frame my future. I am in control of my destiny – and that feels good.

The last activity was to create a vision board, a collage of images and phrases that will help reemphasize the work I’ve done in this program. I wrote out my top ten values, parts of my personal mission statement, and my personal mantra to add to the collage of images I found from magazines. I mostly chose images that were soothing and encouraging statements about being stress-free… because through this journey I have learned I want to focus on living a more peaceful and zen life.

Here’s my board, now hanging in my bedroom:

Thank you for reading along through my reset. I hope you’ve enjoyed it and it has prompted you to think about your life in a new way!

-N.C.

31 Day Reset: Day 19 – Roses & German Chocolate Cake

December 19, 2011nonprofitchapin1 Comment

This exercise was fun and sweet! Rosetta pointed out that most of us mentioned love, marriage and/or kids on our bucket list. So, today she challenged us to revive our love lives. For those of us in a committed relationship, this means doing something romantic or out of the ordinary for our partner.

My boyfriend and my four year anniversary was on Friday so we had made a point to celebrate our love just a few days ago. But that made today even nicer because it was that much more unexpected. I’m also sick today, so a date night out was out of the picture. Instead, I snuck out of the house under the guise that I was getting ginger, chard and a sweet potato for dinner. In fact, I also picked up some roses, a slice of German chocolate cake (his favorite that we never eat because I’m not a big fan), and I spent some time writing some of the things I love about him in a card.

When I came back home he asked me if I had brought home a snack for him (he had been bugging me for one before I left!). I said sort of… with a smile… and brought him everything. He smiled and said, what’s this for? and I told him it was 1) because I love him and 2) because it was today’s 31 Day Reset prompt (he’s my accountability partner so he is well aware of the program). She told you to get someone flowers? he asked. The smile on his face was enough.

When we were first together I used to do surprising sweet gestures all the time. I would pick up flowers or wine to bring home. Sometimes I would plan out a whole day of activities for us. I have to admit that those things have dropped off recently, especially since we’ve moved and I’ve started school. It’s definitely something I’d like to make time for!

-N.C.

How to Give Thanks Every Day

November 28, 2011nonprofitchapin1 Comment

Thanksgiving is so wonderful, because so many people are focusing on one of my favorite things in the world: gratitude. And while I enjoy all the Facebook posts, tweets, and texts of gratitude – the question is, why can’t we do that every day? In every aspect of our lives?

Here are a few ways you can be grateful every day.

Say thank you. I know it sounds obvious, but you would be surprised how few people actually do it! So often people think, well obviously I’m grateful, so why do I need to actually say those two words? My personal mantra is that you can’t say thank you enough. Any time anyone does something nice – thank them! And it doesn’t have to be for you – if you notice someone doing something nice for someone else, feel free to thank them also! You’ll be surprised how much it makes their day.
Think big picture. It’s obviously incredibly overwhelming to think of all the inequalities in the world, so think big picture but in a small way. Think about your neighbor who got laid off and can’t find a new job. Think of the homeless man you pass every day on your way to work. Now think about your situation. Not so bad, is it? If you have a roof over your head, a refrigerator with food, and clothes in your closet, you’re part of a very lucky few. Remember that in everything you do.
Consider what you have and why it matters. Think of the things you value in your life, and whether you could work toward them in the same capacity if you weren’t so fortunate. One of my most important values is leaving a legacy. Yes, a legacy can be left even at the ground level, but I am fortunate to have been given the opportunities I needed to now be in a position where I can create change, and leave a legacy, on a bigger scale. I am grateful for the resources I have been given, not just because I can survive, but because they are helping me live out my most important values.

I love Thanksgiving because it encourages people to evaluate the things in their life for which they are grateful. But why can’t we do that every day? I’m here to say we can, and I hope the above three suggestions help you remember what you’re thankful for.

-N.C.

Donors are People, Too!

November 21, 2011nonprofitchapin

I’ve noticed an “us versus them” attitude with fundraisers and donors. Us development staff spend hours trying to understand what motivates, inspires, and eventually causes donors to give. What makes them happy. What makes them sad. Heck, there are countless studies on what day of the week and time of day donors are on Facebook!

I understand the value of understanding the art of giving – and I appreciate that people want to understand what donors want instead of cramming solicitations down their throat. But when does this interest go too far?

I’m here to make a bold statement.

Donors are people, too!

Development staff get so wrapped up in understanding what donors might want that they get scared to do anything at all. Acknowledgement letters go out without personal notes. Major donors don’t get regular calls. Volunteers are never asked for money.

We need to make a change. The next time you send an appeal to a donor you know recently donated, take two minutes to hand write a note to thank them. On a random day, call up a major donor just to say thank you. Sending an acknowledgment letter to someone who gives regularly? Reference that!

These are not big changes. They’re small, but I promise you they make a world of difference. When was the last time you got anything hand written in the mail? Follow the golden rule – for every donor you work with, treat them the way you want to be treated. Simply acknowledge that they’re special.

Because donors are people, too.

-N.C.

What To Do When You’re Really Good at Something You Hate

November 11, 2011nonprofitchapin1 Comment

Earlier this week I prepared my self evaluation for my 90 day review. My supervisor and I met to go over it and she briefly told me that she’s going to prepare something official, but in the meantime, she wanted me to know I was doing well. And then she added the thing that has most impressed her about my work in these first three months.

When you managed registration at Winners! You were so great, greeting guests and keeping everything organized. You had it all figured out – it was really outstanding!

Something you may or may not know about me is that I hate events. Definitely my least favorite part of fundraising. And yes, Winners is the annual gala – an event.

My first reaction to this feedback was: Really? I’ve been doing all this other work and that’s what you point out?? But I decided to use this moment to understand more about her opinion. Here are a few things I suggest you identify when you get this feedback – that you’re really good at something you hate.

Identify what made you great. My time managing the registration desk and volunteers clearly stood out to my supervisor. Why? Well, I did everything from determine the check in process, to setting up materials, to training the volunteers, to greeting guests and introducing myself. And she didn’t have to ask me to do one thing. In short, I took initiative. I stood out because when I overheard a volunteer say a board member’s name, I took their nametag over to them and introduced myself. For me, taking the initiative is something that has come with time and experience. Hearing this feedback made me feel like I’m in a good place with that journey.
Identify something about it that you love. So I lied when I said I hate events. I hate event planning… but there are elements to the actual event that I love. Relationship building is one of those things, and that’s absolutely something that is essential to a good registration experience. I didn’t just stand there after training the volunteers, I met as many people as I could. And relationship building is the heart of fundraising – so it’s a good thing I love it!
Identify what you can translate to your other (more well-liked) duties. Something I can work on in my day to day job that I excelled at that night is to always be outgoing. As an introvert, I like to hear what others have to say before I chime in. That night I always spoke first – I threw caution to the wind and went for it. This is definitely something I can use when speaking with donors in other realms.

I guess there are worse things in life than being told you’re really good at something you hate. Like being told you’re really bad at something you love! But, as silly as it sounds, it’s actually a bit frustrating to hear. I hope these tips help you understand the feedback. I know they’ve helped me.

-N.C.

Thoughts on the Future

October 25, 2011nonprofitchapin

As always, I’ve been tossing around ideas about my future lately. I have my five most important values posted on my wall so that I’m reminded of them every day. One of them is making a difference. But what I haven’t really asked myself is…

What does it mean to make a difference?

I’ve always thought of making a difference in the traditional way. Take a visible leadership role and make change in your community. Participate in advocacy, educate your peers, and take an active role in changing the world. Pick up litter. Smile at a stranger. Recycle. You know, that sort of thing.

But last night I thought… what if I’m thinking too small? What if I’m being too close minded about what making a difference can mean? I’ve shared on here that I’m open to being a nonprofit consultant in the future (see my post Updating My About Me Page). But lately I think I might have shifted that thinking from being a possibility to being a strong possibility. Even stronger than becoming a CEO.

My time in the Master of Nonprofit Administration program at USF will be so useful in a consultant capacity. I’ll be able to use my skills and knowledge with a large breadth of organizations. The work will be varied and interesting. And, the responsibility will be different.

I have to admit, I have a hard time shouldering a large amount of responsibility. I get very wrapped up in doing everyone proud that I drive myself a little nuts (see my post I Am an Overachiever). Being a consultant would be a different type of responsibility. I can be a partner with a CEO to assist them with implementation, but not be the sole person creating change. I can be in the supporting role, much like I loved being an advisor to student organizations at UCSD (namely, Alternative Breaks). It’s a different type of responsibility, and one that very much attracts me.

As always, things change. But the important thing is that I’m continually thinking about what will make me happy and what works best for my future. And I think this just might be the ticket.

-N.C.

How to Take the Initiative

October 12, 2011nonprofitchapin1 Comment

I’ve read a few posts lately about the importance of taking the initiative. Initiative is one of those elusive buzzwords that we all know we should have, but don’t necessarily understand why or how to get it. We want to balance decision making with collaboration. How?

Here are a few of my personal mantras that I use in my professional life to help me take the initiative.

Never ask a question, always propose a solution. Think about the question you’re about to go to your supervisor with. What would you do if she wasn’t there? What would you do if you had total control over the decision making? Nine times out of ten that’s the thing you should do (especially if you have experience in the field). Go to your supervisor with your proposal and see what she says. Trust me, initiative will be the first word that comes to her mind in thinking about your performance.
Be opinionated. Nothing’s worse than an ambivalent worker. If you work in a nonprofit, chances are you’re passionate about your work – let that come across in your conversations with your peers. When you’re asked a question, give a thoughtful, honest answer with your opinion. Even if it’s not the opinion of the majority, you will be respected for your contribution and will be looked at as someone with valuable insight.
If you think it should be done, do it! This is a quick and easy way to make sure you’re taking the initiative. It’s easy to sit back and criticize, or wonder, shouldn’t ______ be happening? If you’re helping to coordinate a mailing and you know you’ll need a certain amount of labels, envelopes, postage… well, check the supply cabinet. Go to your supervisor and let her know that you’ll need to order more envelopes. I have moments when I’m not sure whether I’m overstepping my boundaries of my job description… and those are usually the ones I get the most praise for later.
Learn to manage up. Your supervisor can’t read your mind. Heck, your mother can’t even read your mind. Express yourself to your supervisor and tell her your goals. If she doesn’t react the way you want, remember that her attitude doesn’t determine your job performance. Identify your supervisor’s strengths and weaknesses and work with them in the same way she should work with you. It’s easy to blame a bad boss on laying off the initiative – don’t let that happen.

Taking the initiative doesn’t have to be difficult. And you don’t have to be an extrovert to do it. It’s simply about being aware of the big picture and doing whatever you can to help everyone get to the end. Good luck and go get ’em!

-N.C.

I Am an Overachiever

September 28, 2011nonprofitchapin11 Comments

I’ve never identified myself as an overachiever. I would definitely describe myself as driven, motivated, goal oriented, and even a little Type A – but not an overachiever.

Until I read 5 Mistakes That Cause Overachievers to Fail by Jennifer Gresham on Everyday Bright.

Unfortunately, I’m becoming very familiar with these failures Jennifer references in this post. Too familiar. And I would venture to guess that many nonprofit staffers feel the same – we’re all passionate people or we wouldn’t be in this field. When does passion go too far?

I have been incredibly stressed out lately. Yes, I’ve had a lot of life changes in the past few months – moving, new job, new grad school program… but still, something more has been tugging at me. Something beyond the usual nerves of something new. Something more substantial.

I read this post and realized – that’s it. I’m an overachiever. My overachiever self is going crazy trying to balance all these new parts of my life and do them all perfectly.

I’m spending a lot of time worrying about what others think. I want to impress my colleagues, look smart to my cohort/professor, and fit in perfectly with my new community. I want to be the perfect employee, friend, and girlfriend. I want to achieve perfection in every aspect of my life.

Instead of inspiring me, these goals are causing me to be anxious almost all of the time. I’m worried about balancing it all and being perfect all at the same time. I’ve realized I’ve become obsessed with this idea of being good at everything. Not just good – great.

When I had just one or two things going on, it was doable. I would say I was a pretty great employee and girlfriend back where we used to live. But now we’ve moved and I’ve added on student and family member… with a brand new job that demands more… and less time to be a great girlfriend… clearly, my perfectionist self is in overdrive. How can I make this happen??

I can’t.

What I can make happen is doing the best I can at everything I do. And knowing that’s good enough.

It’s better than good enough – it’s perfect.

-N.C.