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How To Relax

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The silliest title to a blog post that I’ve ever written. But – for some of us overachievers, very important to know!! Relaxing is not always something that comes naturally to us in today’s world. We’re used to going full speed ahead, being efficient, and getting it done, always thinking about the next project. We’re not so used to taking time for ourselves and chilling out.

When you’re feeling overwhelmed, take some time to relax and remember these tips. They’re not intuitive when your mind is always on the go!

  • Clear your mind. This means leave your work at work and put your commitments aside. Relaxing is not going to do any good if your mind is still going over your to do list. Nothing productive comes from obsessing over what needs to be done or dwelling on your problems. When it’s time to relax, put all of that thinking aside and clear your mind of the clutter.
  • Find what you love to do and do it, no matter what anyone else says. We don’t have TV at home, so Hulu is a treat to me. My boyfriend thinks I’m crazy when instead of getting extra sleep, I want to watch an episode of Project Runway. Although it seems counter-intuitive to him that watching TV would actually relax me, I swear it does. For those 44 precious minutes I don’t have to think about anything except for Heidi Klum. So I do it!
  • Schedule it in. You know how I often give a tip that I myself have to work on including in my life? This one is it. It is so important to make relaxing a priority in your life – self-care is something that should always be at the top of your list, to avoid getting sick and being unhappy.

If I can leave you with one piece of advice, it’s to really take to heart the importance of relaxing. Even if you take just an hour a week… it’s so important. And keep these tips in mind! Your body and mind will thank you!

-N.C.

Kindness in the Workplace

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Here’s an interesting piece on kindness in the business world: Let’s end the paradox of kindness. And while this piece comes from a very different place than kindness with nonprofit employees, many of the points still ring true.

I really enjoy considering the concepts of kindness and niceness in the nonprofit sector. I personally pride myself on being both of those things – but thinking about them critically in the nonprofit workplace is very important. Unfortunately, we have a culture of being too nice. Because the main goal of the sector is to help others, which is something nice, there is a misconception that employees should bend over backwards for each other – so much, that professionalism is going to the wayside, people aren’t being honest in their feedback, and undeserving/inappropriate people are rising to the top (which is a huge issue, unfortunately: many of the CEOs I have worked with are a little nuts, and I think that’s why).

We need to redefine kindness. Instead of kind being false compliments and high pitched voices, kindness should be consideration, respect, and thoughtfulness – and it should be something we all strive for, not matter what sector we work in. I love the post’s point about the Goldilocks principle, getting kindness just right. Kindness is not all or nothing – it’s a very fluid concept that starts with a smile and often ends with mutual agreement and understanding. Kindness is about understanding that we’re all just people trying our best to succeed in the work world, and that’s enough.

Will you work with kindness today?

-N.C.

I’d Love Your Input!

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I’m currently enrolled in Nonprofit Human Resources Management through the Masters in Nonprofit Administration program at University of San Francisco. For my class project, I want to evaluate the role of stress in the lives of nonprofit employees. What a shocker, right?? Basically what this blog is about!! Anyway, I’ve created a short survey on the topic and if you work for a nonprofit organization, I would love your input! I’m hoping for responses by next Friday, June 22.

You can access the survey by clicking here.

Please pass along the link to colleagues or any other friends you know working in the nonprofit sector! Thank you!!

-N.C.

Working with Intention

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One undeniable truth about the nonprofit sector: all of us have more work to do than is ever possible to do in a 40 hour work week. There are always more donations to get, more updates to the website, and more people to serve. Things are always changing in the nonprofit sector and we do our best to adapt, keeping ahead of the trends and being flexible.

With mountains of work, it’s important that the work we do be intentional. For nonprofit employees, it’s not a matter of finding work to do, it’s a matter of determining what is highest priority.

Here’s a few reasons why working with intention is the best thing for a nonprofit employee to do.

  • It helps your organization work strategically: Developing a plan and sticking to it helps you to see the forest for the trees. Think about what the organization needs, to the most basic level. The organization needs donors, constituents, volunteers, etc. Then think about how you will achieve those big goals. That’s where your list should come from, and that’s where priorities will fall into place.
  • It makes you feel in control: Prioritizing workload and being intentional about the tasks you do makes you feel like you’re not just checking off your to do list, you’re working on purpose. It allows you to understand what’s important for the agency and put the rest of those tasks on the back burner, making you feel not so overwhelmed that you’re just spinning your wheels. Trust me, you’ll feel amazing when working with intention.
  • You get more done: This is good not just for you but for the agency as well. When working with intention, you feel as though you’re moving forward in important ways. This helps build momentum to keep focusing on the important things, and other tasks will then fall into place. When you work more efficiently and effectively, more gets done for the organization.

I know it can be difficult to set aside some time to do big picture planning, but trust me when I say it’s worth it! When you work on purpose, it’s better for everyone. It’s important too to keep reviewing the big plan to ensure priorities haven’t shifted. When you keep on top of things, everyone will be happy.

-N.C.

Modeling Unexpected Generosity

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Not having a car has led me to greatly rely on others. Right after my car died, I assumed I would be taking public transportation and walking everywhere I went – but things have turned out very differently.

My friends and loved ones have been giving me rides and loaning me their cars. And no, not because I have asked. They have offered these things. And they’ve done even more than offer – they’ve insisted! Even when I’ve protested, said it’s way too generous of them and I couldn’t put them out like that, they have stood their ground and forced their generosity on me.

This experience has surprised me to say the least. While I have always thought the best of people, and believe people to be naturally giving and generous, this has far exceeded my expectations. I am incredibly grateful.

Which makes me think… if the tables were turned, would I be so generous? I’m not sure how I would have felt before. But I can tell you for sure that I will in the future. I’ll remember the place I was at and remember how I felt toward those who insisted that I accept their generosity. I’ll know that my friend isn’t expecting me to be generous, but because it will help her so much, I’ll do it.

The unexpected generosity I’ve been experiencing is going to go far. It’s going to go farther than just me. I will keep it going and it’s sure to spread like wildfire. Because once you have a taste of unexpected generosity, you can never get enough.

-N.C.

Money Money Money

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Working in fundraising, I’ve always been a big proponent of redefining the concept of money. As I wrote about in How to Ask for Money Without Being Scared, a good fundraiser must reframe their ideas about money and understand that donating is a way to be involved in a cause, not just giving money away.

I realized recently that this is something I need to work on for myself. I understand the concept, but when it comes to my own money, I am petrified. My car just died and it’s time for me to buy a new one, and I am stressed out beyond belief. Do I get a new car? Used? Toyota? Ford? Focus? Escape? There are so many options, each with different pros and cons… and each with a different financial commitment. I feel so much pressure to make the right decision!

And then I realized… why?

Why do I feel all this pressure? I’m going to make a good choice. Even if it isn’t a perfect one, it will be a very thoughtful choice supported by my family members. I even have my regular car mechanic in my back pocket to look over whatever deals I get. I’ve surrounded myself with smart people. So… what’s the big deal?

For the past few years, I’ve scrutinized my personal spending. I switched car insurance companies. I stopped all TV service. I said no when asked several times about getting a smart phone. I’ve been diligent about keeping my costs down. You know what that means?

I have more money to play with for important investments… like a car!

A car, as I’ve come to realize in letting go of mine, is a precious thing. We gain memories in it. It keeps us safe. And we spend a lot of time with it (at least I do). It’s worth that big investment.

So wish me luck as I search for the right investment for me, and wish me luck in reframing my thoughts about money! Whatever car I end up with, I’ll surely love.

-N.C.

A Millennial Approach to People Skills in the Workplace

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USA Today did a great piece on the types of people skills leaders need in order to be successful (read the piece here). The article has some good, easy to implement tips on some small improvements to make on your people skills. The tips include making the employee feel more at ease, devoting all attention to them, and being empathetic. Yes, yes, and yes – couldn’t agree more.

All the tips listed are things that should be done with millennials. But the difference is that there is an additional goal. Millennials need to feel empowered to take what you’re teaching them and run. They need to feel like their voice is heard and you respect their perspective. Once you’ve demonstrated this, you’re golden, and a millennial will follow you anywhere you want to go.

Of all the tips, be fully present was probably my personal favorite. When I’m having a conversation with someone, I turn to them, look them in the eye, and show through my body language that I’m paying attention. I don’t understand people who can have conversations through cubicles without looking at each other! Even if I’m right next to someone, I always need eye contact.

The article specifically calls out young people as being underdeveloped in their face-to-face communications. Unfortunately, with the prevalence of texting and online communication, we’re pushing ourselves to always be multi-tasking. I think our generation needs a hybrid approach to communications, but one that is founded on eye contact. That’s the best way to instill confidence and demonstrate respect, and that’s the way we’ll really take direction and run.

-N.C.

Leadership at all Levels

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According to Wikipedia (the premier source for information these days), leadership has been described as the “process of social influence in which one person can enlist the aid and support of others in the accomplishment of a common task.” I happen to love this definition. So often when we think of leadership we think of the president, the CEO, the one in charge. But it’s so important to remember that leadership has so many more dimensions than that.

Here are a few reasons I love the Wikipedia definition.

  • No mention of being in a position of power. Leadership can happen anywhere you are – whether you’re the receptionist or the director. The key is the way you use your relationships and influence. Even as an entry level staff member you can be a leader. If you respect yourself and those around you, everyone will gravitate toward you. And with grace and poise, if you value everyone’s input as you make your own decisions, and demonstrate that you have sound judgment, you are a leader. Leadership happens outside of the workplace as well – it happens in friendships and with family members. When you take the initiative to do the right thing, you are demonstrating your leadership.
  • The end goal is a common task. We often think of leadership on a grand scale – changing policy, mobilizing communities, and affecting change. But leadership doesn’t have to only look like that. It can also be shown in everyday life. It’s simply showing others that it’s easy to do the right thing – that will be enough to affect change. You see leadership when someone gives a stranger their seat on the bus. When someone holds the door open for someone else. It’s these small moments that make up the big picture.
  • No mention of money. Again, leadership does not only happen when you have the ear of many (whether that’s because you have money or otherwise). It happens when you are sensitive to others and serve as a role model of how to live. That can happen on Wall Street or at the corner store. It doesn’t matter who you are or what you have – you can be a leader.

This concept really helps me as I move through my career. I have not been in management positions in the workforce but I feel I have vast leadership experience, which has come from working with others and listening to what they have to say. Because a good leader does that first – listen.

-N.C.

Why You Should Have More Than One Mentor

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There’s nothing quite like a mentor. She understands you in ways that no one else seems to, she listens intently to your rants, she asks just the right questions, and gives the perfect advice. I must say my conversations with my mentors are some of my most fulfilling and important.

Take note that I said mentors – plural. Yes, I have more than one. I even have more than two. I’ve been very blessed to work with some amazing people over the years, and I’ve made it a priority to keep in touch with them. I’m not saying I chat with them every month, or even every three months. I connect with them when it feels right, and I love having it in the back of my mind that they are there for me.

While having a mentor is important for many reasons in helping with personal and professional development, having more than one is even better. Here’s a few reasons you should strive to have more than one mentor in your life.

  • Unique personalities. Depending on the issue, sometimes you want a soft approach, and sometimes you want told be told the hard truth. You’ll know it in your gut what type of advice you want. It’s wonderful to have different mentors with different approaches to go to depending on the issue. And sometimes it’s helped me even to imagine what hard truth mentor would tell me in the situation. Since she has a black and white approach, I can usually guess. And that’s helped give me insight to situations.
  • Varying viewpoints. I look to my mentors to provide insight and advice on topics that they can relate to, but everyone has a different journey to where they are now. Having multiple mentors means my issues can be looked upon from various points of view. And that’s so helpful when you want different perspectives on an issue.
  • Different advice. Sometimes, when you chat with your mentor, you have a gut instinct of what you think or what you want to do. The truth of the matter is that sometimes you’re not looking to be told what to do, you’re looking for someone you respect to listen to you and pull out what they hear. One of the wonderful things about having multiple mentors is that if one tells you something you don’t feel good about, you can always go to the other one. It takes your mentor off the pedestal and makes her feel real. Because mentors aren’t perfect, either!

Don’t be afraid to engage someone as a mentor. In general, people love giving advice! As long as you respect someone’s opinion and experience, ask them to chat through problems with you. Trust me when I say it will make a world of difference in how you think through your problems. After a while you will be able to look upon things with different perspectives. And that’s the best way to solve any problem.

-N.C.

The Importance of Technology, In the Words of a Busy Millennial

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Today is my third and final day at the Nonprofit Technology Conference (NTC), an annual conference hosted by Nonprofit Technology Network (NTEN). It’s being hosted in San Francisco this year, and someone recommended that I attend, so the stars were aligned. And let me tell you – it’s awesome!! I signed up for the conference thinking it would be good for me to be connected to the latest and greatest ideas in technology, as I work with my work’s donor database and other online platforms. Little did I know that the conference wouldn’t just show me techie tools, but instead lead me to evaluate the role technology plays in our organization and how it can have a role in furthering our mission… or any nonprofit activity, for that matter!

Beyond the nonprofit organization aspect, these past couple of days have reminded me of the importance of technology in general. We all know that technology is important because of the computers on our desk. But I’m here to bring a different perspective to the table – that of a busy millennial.

Here are a few of the reasons technology is important to me.

  • It helps me refine my voice. As I’ve mentioned before, blogging has really helped me develop my thoughts regarding the nonprofit sector, millennial issues, and so much more. But beyond that, having an online presence has given me a new part of my identity to craft. I have spent most of the breakout sessions I’ve participated in at NTC live tweeting the content (check out mytimeline here to read some of the great stuff I’ve been learning). This is reinforcing the ideas I’m learning and helps solidify them in my mind, and gives me ownership of the content I agree on. It’s now a part of me, which I love.
  • The things I need are anywhere I need them (with Wifi, of course). Being a busy millennial, I try to minimize my time doing extraneous activities. Organizing is one of those things. Don’t get me wrong, I love me some list making, but that takes time, and I don’t have a lot of that. Technology has allowed for sharing, collaborating, and housing documents in the cloud, so that I don’t have to worry about putting things on a flash drive or – gasp – a CD. It’s all at my fingertips.
  • It’s green. Remember the days of paper planners? CDs, tapes, and even DVDs? Address books (OK I still need to transition my old one)? At the NTC there is a QR code for each session’s evaluation. No more stacks of paper and trash. Same for the paperwork I need – I don’t have extra things to keep track of. Technology is doing some amazing things to green our world, and for that, we should be thankful.

I must say that after experiencing the NTC I am hooked and really hope I can continue to go each year. I highly recommend it to you, too! Look into a membership for NTEN – it’s very affordable for students, including Masters students – and join! It’s an amazing resource, and it’s not just for IT staff!

-N.C.