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Category: Life

31 Day Reset: Day 8 – The Reset Exercise Made for Nonprofit Chapin

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I’m participating in the 31 Days to Reset Your Life program at Happy Black Woman. The program is designed to help you evaluate your goals and priorities and think of them in the context of your life today and how you might be able to refocus on what’s important. Read on to learn about my experience with the challenge!

If you know me, or if you’ve followed my blog before, you know that there’s one thing I’m crazy about, and that’s gratitude (see How to Give Thanks Every Day). So when I read today’s exercise I was stoked! Write five things you’re grateful for today.

Actually at first I thought – this is going to be a breeze. I could list 26 things I’m grateful for right now. But, when I sat down to write them out, and thought big picture – it was more difficult than I thought. More difficult, at least, to articulate what exactly I’m grateful for and why.

Here are my five items.

Security: I have food, water, shelter, clothes, and a job that provides the money I need to sustain these things. There are so many people who aren’t blessed to be born into the situation I have been. This has given me the foundation I needed to understand what I want in life and the motivation to go for it.

People: My family and friends. They support me in so many ways (emotionally, financially, mentally) and they even challenge me when I need it. I have a great network of people whom I know I can turn to whenever I need, and I love that! They really are my sustenance.

Boyfriend: Notice I didn’t put my boyfriend in People? That’s because he deserves his own line. I can’t begin to describe how grateful I am of him. He supports me through everything (he moved 500 miles with me because I wanted to, he was next to me when I got an important diagnosis and learned how to administer treatment with me, the list goes on and on). He encourages me while I explore my interests and work on personal development – in the eight days I’ve worked on the 31 Day Reset, he has done the dishes twice. And that’s a big deal because he does all the cooking so I’m supposed to do all the cleaning!

Job: Although it can be stressful at times, I do have a pretty great set up at work. I have very supportive supervisors who are mindful of my professional development and personal sanity. They encourage me to work hard and tell me I’m doing a great job. I have great colleagues in general, and the pay is very reasonable. It’s a supportive environment for me while I go to school, and I am so grateful for that.

USF MNA Program: Speaking of school, I’m grateful for the program I’m participating in, the Master of Nonprofit Administration program at University of San Francisco. The program is great because it’s giving me the tools to be the master of my future. Without the background of knowledge and best practices I’m getting from the program, I don’t believe I would be able to go in any direction as easily.

That’s it in a nutshell! It’s very interesting to see the trend of support… I appreciate when others are supportive of me. I feel all warm and fuzzy now… this is a wonderful exercise to be able to look back on to when times aren’t feeling so great!

-N.C.

How to Give Thanks Every Day

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Thanksgiving is so wonderful, because so many people are focusing on one of my favorite things in the world: gratitude. And while I enjoy all the Facebook posts, tweets, and texts of gratitude – the question is, why can’t we do that every day? In every aspect of our lives?

Here are a few ways you can be grateful every day.

  • Say thank you. I know it sounds obvious, but you would be surprised how few people actually do it! So often people think, well obviously I’m grateful, so why do I need to actually say those two words? My personal mantra is that you can’t say thank you enough. Any time anyone does something nice – thank them! And it doesn’t have to be for you – if you notice someone doing something nice for someone else, feel free to thank them also! You’ll be surprised how much it makes their day.
  • Think big picture. It’s obviously incredibly overwhelming to think of all the inequalities in the world, so think big picture but in a small way. Think about your neighbor who got laid off and can’t find a new job. Think of the homeless man you pass every day on your way to work. Now think about your situation. Not so bad, is it? If you have a roof over your head, a refrigerator with food, and clothes in your closet, you’re part of a very lucky few. Remember that in everything you do.
  • Consider what you have and why it matters. Think of the things you value in your life, and whether you could work toward them in the same capacity if you weren’t so fortunate. One of my most important values is leaving a legacy. Yes, a legacy can be left even at the ground level, but I am fortunate to have been given the opportunities I needed to now be in a position where I can create change, and leave a legacy, on a bigger scale. I am grateful for the resources I have been given, not just because I can survive, but because they are helping me live out my most important values.

I love Thanksgiving because it encourages people to evaluate the things in their life for which they are grateful. But why can’t we do that every day? I’m here to say we can, and I hope the above three suggestions help you remember what you’re thankful for.

-N.C.

Thoughts on the Future

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As always, I’ve been tossing around ideas about my future lately. I have my five most important values posted on my wall so that I’m reminded of them every day. One of them is making a difference. But what I haven’t really asked myself is…

What does it mean to make a difference?

I’ve always thought of making a difference in the traditional way. Take a visible leadership role and make change in your community. Participate in advocacy, educate your peers, and take an active role in changing the world. Pick up litter. Smile at a stranger. Recycle. You know, that sort of thing.

But last night I thought… what if I’m thinking too small? What if I’m being too close minded about what making a difference can mean? I’ve shared on here that I’m open to being a nonprofit consultant in the future (see my post Updating My About Me Page). But lately I think I might have shifted that thinking from being a possibility to being a strong possibility. Even stronger than becoming a CEO.

My time in the Master of Nonprofit Administration program at USF will be so useful in a consultant capacity. I’ll be able to use my skills and knowledge with a large breadth of organizations. The work will be varied and interesting. And, the responsibility will be different.

I have to admit, I have a hard time shouldering a large amount of responsibility. I get very wrapped up in doing everyone proud that I drive myself a little nuts (see my post I Am an Overachiever). Being a consultant would be a different type of responsibility. I can be a partner with a CEO to assist them with implementation, but not be the sole person creating change. I can be in the supporting role, much like I loved being an advisor to student organizations at UCSD (namely, Alternative Breaks). It’s a different type of responsibility, and one that very much attracts me.

As always, things change. But the important thing is that I’m continually thinking about what will make me happy and what works best for my future. And I think this just might be the ticket.

-N.C.

I Am an Overachiever

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I’ve never identified myself as an overachiever. I would definitely describe myself as driven, motivated, goal oriented, and even a little Type A – but not an overachiever.

Until I read 5 Mistakes That Cause Overachievers to Fail by Jennifer Gresham on Everyday Bright.

Unfortunately, I’m becoming very familiar with these failures Jennifer references in this post. Too familiar. And I would venture to guess that many nonprofit staffers feel the same – we’re all passionate people or we wouldn’t be in this field. When does passion go too far?

I have been incredibly stressed out lately. Yes, I’ve had a lot of life changes in the past few months – moving, new job, new grad school program… but still, something more has been tugging at me. Something beyond the usual nerves of something new. Something more substantial.

I read this post and realized – that’s it. I’m an overachiever. My overachiever self is going crazy trying to balance all these new parts of my life and do them all perfectly.

I’m spending a lot of time worrying about what others think. I want to impress my colleagues, look smart to my cohort/professor, and fit in perfectly with my new community. I want to be the perfect employee, friend, and girlfriend. I want to achieve perfection in every aspect of my life.

Instead of inspiring me, these goals are causing me to be anxious almost all of the time. I’m worried about balancing it all and being perfect all at the same time. I’ve realized I’ve become obsessed with this idea of being good at everything. Not just good – great.

When I had just one or two things going on, it was doable. I would say I was a pretty great employee and girlfriend back where we used to live. But now we’ve moved and I’ve added on student and family member… with a brand new job that demands more… and less time to be a great girlfriend… clearly, my perfectionist self is in overdrive. How can I make this happen??

I can’t.

What I can make happen is doing the best I can at everything I do. And knowing that’s good enough.

It’s better than good enough – it’s perfect.

-N.C.

Why You Should’ve Paid Attention in History

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If I could identify one theme that I’ve see a lot of in the past two weeks, it’s been the importance of history. At my new job, I’m constantly learning how things have been done historically in my position and in the agency. At school, we’re reading about the history of the nonprofit sector. I’ve never really thought of history’s importance too much until I realized I was being bombarded with it. There are a few key reasons understanding history is important.

  • To get where you’re going you have to know where you came from. I’m not going to lie – my predecessor at work did things much differently than the way I plan to do them in the future. From my perspective, much of his tasks were time intensive, inefficient, and ill-advised. But – I took the time to understand why he did things. I asked questions, and I’m continuing to ask questions of my other colleagues, about reasoning and rationale. Even if I’m hoping to do things differently, it’s good to understand the whole story, so that I can pick and choose my battles.
  • It makes you appreciate how good we have things now. It’s easy to complain that the nonprofit sector has it worse than the other sectors – we get paid less, we don’t get taken seriously, and so on. But in my reading of what the nonprofit sector used to look like – even 50 years ago – I’m jumping for joy about how official the sector is today. It wasn’t that long ago that we weren’t even considered a sector, that donations weren’t tax deductible, and that getting a nonprofit status was impossible. I’m definitely grateful that the sector has exploded the way it has and that I can be a part of it now.
  • Knowing history ensures you have all your tools in your tool belt. Moving forward, knowing the history of something can really help you in shaping goals for the future. Knowing the original goals and understanding why they were in place is essential for continuing a project. Working without this knowledge is like starting from scratch, which is very difficult.

Some might say there’s value to not knowing the history of something – it allows you to shape your own opinions and ideas, free of restriction. I disagree. I think knowing the history but keeping an open mind about the future is a much better balance.

Too bad I didn’t pay closer attention in high school.

-N.C.

Keeping My Head Above Water

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Not that anyone but me is keeping track, but it has officially been two weeks and six days since my last post. This past month has been a whirlwind – I moved, started my new job, and went to the kick off for my masters program (I’m doing the Master of Nonprofit Administration program at University of San Francisco). I have been stressed out to say the least! I’ve been working my butt off to impress my new colleagues and boss, continuing to unpack our apartment, and mentally preparing to start school. I’m not going to lie, the last few weeks have been really hard… but I’m happy to say that I’m finally starting to feel positive about things. Here are a few mantras that have helped me keep my head above water.

  • At the end of the day, I’m helping people. Being dedicated to the nonprofit field means that the work I do day in and day out changes the world. Even if I don’t get everything crossed off my to do list, or if I feel like I’m not making a good impression on my colleagues, I’m still helping people. And, isn’t that the most important thing in life?
  • I know what I’m doing. My skills and knowledge about development and the nonprofit sector have been verified in both my new job and in meeting my cohort for the masters program. Listening to the types of decisions that are being made and the thought process behind them has been enlightening – not necessarily because they are new to me, but because I agree and had the same thoughts. In regards to my masters cohort, I was surprised to learn that there are quite a few people who have not had as much exposure to the sector as I have. My confidence has definitely been boosted.
  • One day at a time. In times like this, when things are in chaos (and I hate chaos), each day can look a little bit different than the next. It helps me to remember that no matter how bad today is, tomorrow is a new day, and tomorrow could be great! Every day is a fresh start, which can help when I feel like I continually need one!

I don’t get stressed out easily, which is why I’ve been so surprised that this last month has been so hard on me. But I feel confident that things are turning around and I’m now in the right frame of mind. Just in time for classes to start on Tuesday!! Wish me luck!

-N.C.

What I Learned from My Move Across California

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I moved from San Diego to the bay area this weekend. I grew up here, so it’s like coming back home… but not really, because I’m coming with a new perspective, new life, and new attitude (and a boyfriend!). As you can imagine, making such a huge move was not an easy process, but in the end, a success! Here are a few tips I learned along the way.

  • I get by with a little help from my friends. Wow. Absolutely, by far, the biggest thing that made an impression on me was the generosity of people around me. I cannot count the number of times I felt intense gratitude that so many people stepped up to help me. I will never forget those who pitched in – and I hope to pay it forward!
  • I underestimated everything. And I mean everything. I reserved a 10 foot truck when we really needed a 14 footer. I thought two days would be plenty of time to get my life in order between my last day at work and packing/loading day. I had no idea I’d have to spend Friday morning packing instead of loading. Whatever it was, I underestimated it. I think the lesson learned here is to be flexible – because no matter how off I was on something, we identified the problem (this truck is too small), brainstormed a solution (calling other moving truck companies), and took action (returned the truck and got something new).
  • Moving is a great time for a fresh start. I’m already starting to create new habits that I hope will catch on in this next chapter of my life. I truly will be starting a new routine – working full time and going to grad school – so I’ll need to learn to balance everything. It’s easier to create change when other things are already changing… so away we go!

I’m anxious and excited to see what happens next. Wish me luck as I embark on new challenges, with a new job, in a new masters program, in a new place!

-N.C.

I Need Help Asking for Help

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I hate asking for help. I despise it. It makes my skin crawl. It makes me nervous. If you’re friends with me on Facebook you saw my recent post asking for help with loading our moving truck next week… well, that post almost didn’t happen, many times. I seriously thought about it for a week. Should I post a message asking for help? Should I sound desperate? Should it be funny? What is everyone going to say? Are people going to be mad that I am asking for help?

That’s where I stopped myself. Why the heck would people be mad at me for putting it out there that I need help? I have this feeling that people will think less of me if I ask for favors, like they will resent me or something, the girl who always wants a handout. But really, we all need help sometimes. I can’t count the number of times I’ve done favors for friends, and of course, they have done them for me. That’s what friendship is all about. So, I asked myself one question.

What’s the worst that will happen?

It’s not like someone’s going to comment back, “Wow, Chapin, you’re pathetic for needing help, and I’m really mad at you for posting this status. I’m not going to be your friend anymore.” And even if that did happen – do I really want to be friends with someone like that anyway??

Really – the worst that would happen would be that no one would volunteer to help. And, that’s kind of what happened – no one volunteered to help on Friday, but I did get more help for Sunday! That wouldn’t have happened if I didn’t post that question – if I didn’t ask for help.

It took me so long to decide whether to post it. But when I had decided I was going to, that was it. I posted it this morning before work – I never do anything that early in the morning!! I nervously checked to see what comments I got back all day. When the internet was down when I got to work, I felt anxious. What if someone posted a response??

It made me nervous putting myself out there like that. I will always be the strong woman who has everything going for her. It’s hard to admit that sometimes I can’t figure it all out on my own. I need help.

And that’s nothing to be ashamed of.

-N.C.

Overwhelmed? Join the Club

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I’m participating in this month’s Nonprofit Blog Carnival – time management tips. You can read more about it at Have Fun Do Good here (that’s a great blog, too, by the way). I really couldn’t ask for a better prompt. One piece of feedback from my review was that I am too productive – time management is something I’ve got in the bag. Even with this knack for productivity, I still get overwhelmed sometimes, as we all do. These are some of my favorite tips for time management.

  • Prioritize. I put this one first for a reason. This is the most important thing you can do to manage your time well! Take your task list and rank it in order. What is timely? What is important to your boss? What is a big hairy project that you need to spread out over several days? Take all of these things into account and put your tasks in order. After you’ve done that, only concentrate on the first 3-5. Monday morning you can re-evaluate your list, so don’t get worried you will miss a deadline for item #6.
  • Schedule consistent time. If there’s something that doesn’t make your priority list every week, but is still important and requires ongoing maintenance, put an appointment on your calendar weekly or monthly to work on it. When it’s on your calendar, there’s added accountability to do it. And you’ll get an Outlook reminder 15 minutes before! For example, I put database clean-up on my calendar every Monday from 4:00 – 5:00 p.m. This way I’m slowly but surely working on something that feels like a huge project (and it feels smaller when I make some progress on it).
  • Use Outlook tasks. Emily Baime taught me how to use tasks back in the day, and my work life has been transformed. So many people still use a pad of paper, or worse, post its. Outlook tasks allows you to set deadlines for each task, mark priorities, and keep track of progress. Every week I update it according to priority (Monday of that week is high priority, Friday is projects on the backburner, etc) and even put in those 1-5 rankings we talked about. Don’t be shy, click on that little icon and give it a try!
  • Mix up your projects. Keep things interesting. Update event collateral, run database reports, and read an article in the same afternoon. Doing different things allows you to stay focused and energized and allows for better work.
  • Realize you’re not saving the world. I’m sure you’re doing important work, but remember, if you take a break, the world isn’t going to crumble. Take a few days off on a consistent basis. It will help you recharge your batteries and give you a fresh perspective on your projects when you return.

Remember – nothing is a crisis. Although it may seem like all of your tasks are important, keep breathing and remember that all will get accomplished in due time. And don’t forget to smile!!

-N.C.

What I Learned from the County Fair

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Last night was the first time in the nine years I’ve lived here that I went to the San Diego County Fair. I have to say, it was incredible. I mean, it was unbelievable. It’s hard to put it into words… opulence, flashing lights, fried everything… ridiculous. I looked at it as a spectacle, and I had an amazing time.

The fair draws thousands of people every night from across the county. I know I drove half an hour to get there. It’s such a success, so, they must be doing something right! Here are a few lessons learned from my trip to the fair.

  • Extravagance will never go out of style. The fair reminded me so much of Las Vegas… everything is larger than life, from the food, to the shows, to the prices… everything is bigger at the fair. People love feeling like they’re on vacation and that they deserve to pamper themselves. That’s OK, if it’s once in a while… it’s those people who go to the fair twice a week that I’m concerned about!
  • People are scared to stand out, or they love to stand in lines. From the lines at food vendors to the parking lot lanes, I can’t tell you how many times my friend and I found a short (or even non-existent) line for the same thing. People are afraid to venture out and learn for themselves what to do. They like to be doing what everyone else is doing. When we stood in line for ice cream, we turned around and found twenty people in what was previously a four person line. I mean, I know I’m cool and all, but that’s a little much!
  • I’ll do anything once. I tried deep fried oreos, brownie, and ice cream dipped in chocolate and rolled in oreos. Are you kidding me?? Hearing about all the deep fried stuff before I went always confused me… but when I was there, it was a given that I had to at least give some deep fried food a try. I think it’s that way for most people. If something (like deep fried food) is normalized, everyone will give it a try. It’s getting over the hump of making something extraordinary ordinary that’s the challenge.

Although I’m pretty sure I will never go again, I had a great time at the fair and am so glad I went. It was unlike anything else I’ve ever done!

OK, I need to amend my last bullet. I’ll do almost anything once – I won’t do deep fried butter!!

-N.C.