I hate asking for help. I despise it. It makes my skin crawl. It makes me nervous. If you’re friends with me on Facebook you saw my recent post asking for help with loading our moving truck next week… well, that post almost didn’t happen, many times. I seriously thought about it for a week. Should I post a message asking for help? Should I sound desperate? Should it be funny? What is everyone going to say? Are people going to be mad that I am asking for help?
That’s where I stopped myself. Why the heck would people be mad at me for putting it out there that I need help? I have this feeling that people will think less of me if I ask for favors, like they will resent me or something, the girl who always wants a handout. But really, we all need help sometimes. I can’t count the number of times I’ve done favors for friends, and of course, they have done them for me. That’s what friendship is all about. So, I asked myself one question.
What’s the worst that will happen?
It’s not like someone’s going to comment back, “Wow, Chapin, you’re pathetic for needing help, and I’m really mad at you for posting this status. I’m not going to be your friend anymore.” And even if that did happen – do I really want to be friends with someone like that anyway??
Really – the worst that would happen would be that no one would volunteer to help. And, that’s kind of what happened – no one volunteered to help on Friday, but I did get more help for Sunday! That wouldn’t have happened if I didn’t post that question – if I didn’t ask for help.
It took me so long to decide whether to post it. But when I had decided I was going to, that was it. I posted it this morning before work – I never do anything that early in the morning!! I nervously checked to see what comments I got back all day. When the internet was down when I got to work, I felt anxious. What if someone posted a response??
It made me nervous putting myself out there like that. I will always be the strong woman who has everything going for her. It’s hard to admit that sometimes I can’t figure it all out on my own. I need help.
And that’s nothing to be ashamed of.
Thanks for sharing your post! Asking for help can be a tough thing to do – for any number of reasons which you have identified. I have found that taking the step to asking for help provided a sense of freedom and helped me build my confidence. The mental shift to ask others to help is an accelerator to success.
Absolutely!! I have felt so much better since I asked for help, and will have a much smoother move because of it. It’s definitely something for me to work on!!
Thanks for the comment!!
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