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What I Learned from My Garage Sale

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We had a garage sale on Saturday and got rid of a bunch of stuff. It was so much stuff it filled my station wagon to the brim. And while garage sales aren’t exactly intellectually stimulating, I did come away with some lessons learned.

  • Friends are everywhere. There were a few people I struck up a conversation with. There was a girl looking for skirts that go past her knee because she is going on a missions trip to Malawi. There was a gentleman with three grandkids who was looking for CDs for them. Striking up conversation with them made everything feel more natural and we all enjoyed the experience – even though it was something as unexciting as a garage sale. There are some great people out there!
  • Everyone needs to pay it forward more often. A girl with her grandma was shopping around and bought some of my things. When they were on their way out, she asked how much a pen was.  I responded, “You can have it for free, you guys have bought plenty of other things.” Her jaw dropped. She was shocked. “For FREEE???” She could not believe her ears. It was something so small that ended up meaning a lot to her. Her disbelief that someone might be paying it forward struck me. I can’t wait for the time we’re grateful but not taken aback by a small gesture of generosity.
  • Garage sales can mean more than meets the eye. I definitely had my own Toy Story 3 moment. As you may or may not know, I had a thing for pigs when I was growing up. Consequently I have approximately 23,498 pig items. Needless to say I could get rid of some of them. I was setting everything out when a woman asked how much one of them is. She mentioned that her daughter is having a pig party. I was thrilled! I scooped up every pig item I own, including eight pairs of socks (those are just the ones I could part with), and sold it all to her for $8. More than the cash I was so happy my pigs went to another young girl’s enjoyment!!

I am definitely instituting an annual garage sale tradition. There’s no reason to keep my things that I don’t use when there are plenty of people who desperately need them. I encourage you to do the same!!

-N.C.

A Second Look at My Biggest Weakness

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OK, I was wrong. I’ve thought more about my biggest weakness, my last post, and I’m not sure I entirely agree with it. After I wrote the post, I discussed it with one of my colleagues who also is an introvert. And then, just yesterday, I saw this blog post in my inbox. It must have been fate! Here are a few of the things I’ve been thinking about the past week.

  • Leadership comes in many styles. Just because I’m not a dominant extrovert doesn’t mean I’m not a leader. In my current office all the managers look like just that: they have dominant personalities. Even at lunch they will jump to share stories about their weekend. I have never been that type of person and never will be. I think there’s a lot of value to a leader who doesn’t have that type of personality, and that’s who I hope to be.
  • Why fix what isn’t broken? In my short twenty-something years on this earth I have had many leadership roles – I have led student organizations, formed programs, and managed people. Why would I have had these opportunities if my working style didn’t represent that of a leader? I must be doing something right!!
  • I need to chill. I’m being too hard on myself! I’m always obsessing over my areas of improvement and I need to spend more time celebrating my strengths. That’s what will get me in a leadership role, anyway!

I appreciate my supervisor’s perspective of my biggest weakness, but I also appreciate the point of view of my colleague, who has the opposite opinion. Everyone has her own. And, of course my supervisor got to where she is by accruing experience and insight, but I’m going to respectfully disagree. I am an introvert who listens intently, and I love it!

-N.C.

My Biggest Weakness

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I had my annual review on Thursday, and while it’s not exactly conventional to announce your biggest area of improvement to the whole world, I want to be held accountable to improving on this and I’m hoping that posting about it will do that! Basically, what my biggest area of improvement comes down to is this:

I need to talk more.

I need to share my opinions more in groups of colleagues – especially at the management level, so that they can see that I aspire to become a leader and have the insight and drive to go there. I have this mentality that since I’m not the expert in the room, I should listen and learn from those who are. What I need to realize and embrace is that even though I don’t have the same number of years as others, I still have valid opinions that could help in some way. Even if they don’t help in any way, at least they will demonstrate to others part of my potential. Because not sharing anything means not sharing any of my potential. And that doesn’t do anyone any good!

It’s funny, because I have no problem injecting my thoughts and opinions into one-on-one conversations with managers… but when it comes to a group, like at a committee meeting, I have no drive to speak. And I don’t know that it’s any sort of complex about talking in front of groups… because I do that all the time… it’s more that I want to learn as much as I can before I go being presumptuous and speaking when I shouldn’t. I need to get over this and start sharing my thoughts on a consistent basis. This blog helps because it helps me shape my opinions about things without having to come up with things on the fly, which will make me more confident to share. I sincerely hope that with my move to another city and nonprofit I can truly spread my wings and talk more in groups!!

I’d appreciate ideas any of you have to help me work on this issue!

-N.C.

What’s in a Name?

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I just read this and had to re-post it! Deirdre Maloney of Momentum San Diego writes about the importance of something that might seem small and trivial, but it’s so important… accurately re-counting a name. I can’t tell you how many times I see this between my name (Cole, Mr. Chapin, the list goes on and on) and my CEO’s name, which can commonly be spelled two different ways. Now, I want to echo what Deirdre says in her post that while this topic is of greater importance to me having a strange name, it’s not just that. It’s the importance of paying attention to details about someone you’re corresponding with. A name is something very personal and it means a lot to us – so when something like that is misspelled, what else might you be getting incorrect?

Deirdre’s blog is wonderful – if you’re interested in learning more about leadership, organizational management, and communication, you should check it out!

-N.C.

Quick! Sell yourself!

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I bet if you asked twenty people their top five hated activities, networking would be mentioned more than once. People hate networking. It feels awkward, scary and weird. But it doesn’t have to! Here are some tips to remember when networking!

  • Make an elevator speech for yourself. We’ve all heard of the phrase elevator speech – the idea that you have 30 seconds to describe the organization you work for. Concoct a description of you and what you’re looking for in three sentences or less. Example: “I work doing fundraising and marketing for a nonprofit in San Diego, and my ultimate goal is to become a CEO of a nonprofit. I’m interested in learning more about nonprofit operations and all the facets that make them work.” Follow your elevator speech with the next bullet. Note: Even if you don’t have a job/aren’t working in the field you want, you can still make a self elevator speech! Lead with your passion and you’ll get what you’re hoping for.
  • Balance what you want with what they want. As humans, we’re inherently selfish. What’s in it for me? is the first thing we ask ourselves in everything we do. Make your self elevator speech about what you can offer to the listener. If they represent a nonprofit you’d like to get to know, offer to visit their facility or make a donation. Demonstrating your value up front is the best way to make an impression.
  • Listen. It sounds easy, but it can be harder than you think! Let go of all distractions when you’re networking and focus on what you’re saying and what the listener is saying. Respond to what she says. If she interjects with a shared experience, listen to it and respond. It takes two to tango – don’t make the conversation one sided.
  • Show your interest. Make eye contact. Give a firm handshake. Smile. These things make a world of difference! When you outwardly express ease and interest, the listener will do the same. Have you heard of the phrase smile and the world smiles with you? It’s true!

These tips could translate to many situations – in an interview, when meeting your boyfriend’s parents, or even in any workplace conversation. If you respect the listener and that comes across in your interaction, you’ll have them hanging on your every word!

-N.C.

How to Ask for Money Without Being Scared

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Money is a funny thing. Our relationship to it is unlike anything else. Money ensures you have food, shelter, clothing – all the basic human essentials. In fact, with the American economy set up the way it is, one could argue you need money to live. But most of us work to get more money than is necessary. Most of us dream of the house with a white picket fence, the nice car, and the fancy dinners. And therefore, in many people’s eyes, money = happiness.

That’s one of the reasons asking for money is so scary. Money is sacred – it represents so much more than the coins jingling in your piggy bank. It represents a comfortable home and piece of mind. But if you change your mindset about what you’re really asking for when you ask for money, it’s easy.

Here are some tips to keep in mind when asking for money.

  • Love the cause you’re asking for money for. If you’re passionate about what you’re fundraising for, it will come across when you’re talking to potential donors. Remember to share why you love the cause, what got you involved, and why you care. Instead of trying to convince them to care, showing that you care is the best way to persuade them.
  • Be in the business of making people happy. Giving away money to good causes makes people happy (there are several studies that show this is the case). People love the feeling they get when helping others. Instead of thinking of it as asking someone for something, think of it as giving them the opportunity to be happy. You are simply the middle man.
  • They are going to give away their money anyway – might as well be to your cause. More than 9 out of 10 Americans donate in a given year – that’s huge. There’s a strong chance the person you’re talking to is going to give to something this year. It might as well be the amazing cause you are working for – you know how amazing it is, so you’ve already vetted the cause and done the research for them! All that’s left is the easy part – donating.
  • Don’t be afraid of rejection. The worst possible thing that could happen when you ask someone for money? They say no. Then what? Nothing. You move on, they move on. Don’t take this response personally – when someone says no, it’s no reflection on you, it’s simply not a fit for him/her to give to your cause.

Asking for money does not have to be scary, and if you follow these tips, it will become natural to you. Let go of being scared of rejection, feel confident in your cause, and put on your best smile. You can do it! 🙂

-N.C.

Thank You, Emily Baime and Emily Marx

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It’s been ten days since Rosetta posted this option for a blog post, but as soon as I saw it I knew I had to do it: write about a mentor or someone who has made an impact on your life or career. The only difficult thing was choosing who to write about… ultimately, I have decided to write about both women who have impacted my life and career goals in a big way :). I saved the prompt in my email and finally have time to sit down and write it. (Life was a bit of a whirlwind these past two weeks, you know, getting into grad school and everything!) Sorry for the long post – I promise it’s worth it!!

Emily Baime

Emily was my supervisor at my first job out of college, and boy, am I happy she was. Emily truly shaped the woman I am today in regards to my working style and career goals. I am so grateful for all she’s done for me. Here is just a short list of some of the things I learned from her.

  • I was born to lead. I was shocked to learn that not everyone is like me! Not everyone loves managing projects and thinking strategically about the big picture. Even in the nonprofit sector, many people are there simply to do a job. Emily encouraged me to manage projects in ways that aren’t common for an entry level worker, and that experience showed me that’s when I’m happiest – with lots of responsibility and accountability. That shaped my goal to always lead.
  • Want to get things done? Try on someone else’s shoes. Emily taught me the formula to getting a project approved, and it has worked every time I’ve tried it. The crux of the formula is to think like the person you need approval from. Maybe that person was once embarrassed by forgetting a donor’s name – plan to have nametags at your event. Outlining these things is the key to getting any project approved, and Emily showed me that.
  • I can only control one person: myself. I’m not going to lie – I had a tough time adjusting to the working world. Before, my whole life had revolved around making everyone happy, whether it be my family, friends, teachers, anyone but myself… so, I ventured into my first job with the same goal. I quickly learned that I was attempting the impossible. People at work would be moody or dissatisfied… and I took it personally. I learned to focus on myself and my own work and do the best I could, not constantly worry about everyone else.

Emily is a strong, driven woman herself: outside of her day job, she has started up the sustainable food focused organization Community Tap & Table, which puts on gourmet cooking classes that pair food with beer. Any surplus funds from each class are donated to a nonprofit focused on connecting the community through food. Not bad for after 5:00 each day.

Emily Marx

Emily was the Community Service Coordinator in what is now the Center for Student Involvement (CSI) at UCSD when I was a student there (she’s now the center’s director). She was the driving force behind creating Alternative Breaks, the student organization I helped found and that has been a huge part of my life. But she did so much more than help with copies and club politics – she helped me form my own definition of leadership, which I will carry with me for the rest of my life and while I grow into my own leader. Here’s a short list of what she helped me learn.

  • Leadership starts with listening. A common misconception is that the leader is the loudest person in the room. In fact, true leadership is the ability to hold your opinions and preconceived notions to yourself while you gather everyone else’s view. The core of leadership is being able to take all these opinions, combine them with your own, and make the decision that takes into account all of this. Emily taught me that a good leader is a person of supreme balance and poise.
  • It’s good to get out of your comfort zone once in a while. The reason Emily and I have both done so many Alternative Break trips is because we both subscribe to this theory. It’s not easy to travel to another country where you may or may not know the language with people you met a few months ago and be completely vulnerable with your feelings. No matter how hard it is, it’s good for you. You always finish the experience with a renewed faith in yourself and the choices you make. And that’s always a good thing.
  • Humility is the key to happiness. Emily taught me the importance of diversity in every sense of the word – diversity in perspectives, backgrounds, interests, experiences, and so on. It is key to not only surround myself with different viewpoints, but to listen to them with a genuine interest and consider carefully what they are saying. Everyone in this world has an opinion and every single one is valid. It’s important to remember that mine is not any better than anyone else’s.

Emily effects so many students on a daily basis; she really is helping to form the next generation of leaders, politicians, teachers, activists, and citizens. She does an amazing job as the Director of CSI, helping all other advisors to do what she did with me – it’s something I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Sorry for the long post this time, but I just couldn’t choose between them (you can clearly see why)! I hope that you also have experienced an amazing mentor relationship… and if you haven’t, seek one out! They will teach you things about yourself that you never would have known.

-N.C.