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31 Day Reset: Day 15 – Time Audit

nonprofitchapin3 Comments

I’m participating in the 31 Days to Reset Your Life program at Happy Black Woman. The program is designed to help you evaluate your goals and priorities and think of them in the context of your life today and how you might be able to refocus on what’s important. Read on to learn about my experience with the challenge!

Today’s exercise was pretty simple: do a time audit of a 24 hour period. Select a day (or average day) and write out everything you did during that period. This will theoretically allow you to evaluate how you really spend your time and if you really “don’t have time” to work on personal development.

I’m going to be upfront and tell you I didn’t find value in this exercise. I work full time, am getting my masters, have all my family around, and many of my close friends here. I just moved back home so the hype is still there (although not as bad when we first came up). We don’t have any TV (we subscribe to Netflix but it’s not like we watch all the time). And finally – I have a health condition that essentially mandates I have some rest time. Although I don’t even get as much as I should.

So, needless to say, I have been mindful of how I spend my time before this exercise. Getting rid of TV was really when the switch happened (which was almost a year ago – it was part of my new years life change last year). Yes, I spend some time on Facebook, but I argue that keeps me sane – without a little bit of that, anyone would go crazy!

Anyway, I still did the exercise. I don’t really have a typical day so I just chose yesterday. Mind you, this is very different because I am not in school right now so I don’t have reading/studying built in. But I do have the addition of the 31 Day Reset, so perhaps it balances out a bit.

6:00am-7:00am: sleep
7:00am-8:00am: shower, breakfast, drive to work
8:00am-9:00am: work: gift entry
9:00am-10:00am: work: gift entry
10:00am-11:000am: work: gift entry
11:00am-12:00pm: work: set up for development committee meeting
12:00pm:1:00pm: work: development committee meeting (participate & take minutes)
1:00pm-2:00pm: development committee meeting (participate & take minutes, clean up)
2:00pm-3:00pm: work: gift entry
3:00pm-4:00pm: work: gift entry
4:00pm-5:00pm: work: gift entry
5:00pm-6:00pm: drive home, email, Facebook, Twitter
6:00pm-7:00pm: email, Facebook, Twitter
7:00pm-8:00pm: get Christmas tree
8:00pm-9:00pm: pick up and eat dinner
9:00pm-10:00pm: work on 31 Day Reset
10:00pm-11:00pm: pay bills
11:00pm-12:00am: unwind, one episode of Modern Family
12:00am-1:00am: sleep
1:00am-2:00am: sleep
2:00am-3:00am: sleep
3:00am-4:00am: sleep
4:00am-5:00am: sleep
5:00am-6:00am: sleep

I’d love your feedback if you can identify pockets of time that are unnecessary or that I could do differently. Maybe I’m too close to my schedule and am not thinking objectively enough. Let me know if you disagree!! Because I could use another hour in the day!!!

-N.C.

31 Day Reset: Day 14 – Reflect & Regroup

nonprofitchapin

I’m participating in the 31 Days to Reset Your Life program at Happy Black Woman. The program is designed to help you evaluate your goals and priorities and think of them in the context of your life today and how you might be able to refocus on what’s important. Read on to learn about my experience with the challenge!

We’re at the two week mark so we’re getting a day to reflect on what we’ve learned this past week and read others’ posts and comment.

The most important thing I learned about myself this week is from my Hate Mail to my Lizard Brain post. I learned that I am the one who has control over the resistance I sometimes experience to doing new things or even doing them differently. I make the choices that lead to the decisions… so, it doesn’t have to be that way.

My favorite exercise was definitely yesterday’s creation of an ideal life narrative. I loved being able to envision my wildest dreams (which I don’t think I’ve ever really admitted to myself) and it was really cool to see that much of it is attainable.

I struggled the most with deciding on my accountability partner. My instinct from the start was to ask my boyfriend, but reading Rosetta’s comments about it not being anyone who was too close got me thinking it might not be a good idea. I feel confident in the decision, however. I think he is close but he’s not afraid to be honest with me.

Thanks for continuing on with me in this journey!

-N.C.

31 Day Reset: Day 13 – My Dream Life

nonprofitchapin3 Comments

I’m participating in the 31 Days to Reset Your Life program at Happy Black Woman. The program is designed to help you evaluate your goals and priorities and think of them in the context of your life today and how you might be able to refocus on what’s important. Read on to learn about my experience with the challenge!

Today’s exercise was a lot of fun! I envisioned my ideal life. I took my life map and thought about exactly what things would be in the kind of life I’d like. Some highlights from mine include:

  • I have a great family, including a loving, supportive husband and kids. I make it a priority for my family to continually give back to the community. I also make sure we take time to smell the roses and appreciate everything we have.
  • I have a consulting business where I help nonprofits with strategic planning and leaders with executive coaching. This allows me a good home/work balance where I can still spend time with my family yet maintain my connection to the nonprofit sector and effecting change in a way that’s important to me.
  • I own my own home and don’t worry about how I’ll pay for necessities like food, clothes, and even education for my children. Student loans and credit card debt are paid off. I make donations to my favorite charities on a regular basis.
  • My health condition is not a burden to me or my family. I am well educated about treatment options and the newest research. I have a great, supportive doctor who is always looking out for my best interests.
  • I have a good sense of balance in all areas of my life – home, family, and career. I never let one area overpower the others. I have healthy ways of dealing with stress and anxiety and an overall positive outlook.

Like I said – so much fun! Who doesn’t want to imagine what their perfect life would be? It definitely makes me see that some of these things are very easily attainable, while others don’t feel so easy. I imagine the remainder of the 31 Day Reset will help me address some of these feelings.

-N.C.

31 Day Reset: Day 12 – Hate Mail to My Lizard Brain

nonprofitchapin

I’m participating in the 31 Days to Reset Your Life program at Happy Black Woman. The program is designed to help you evaluate your goals and priorities and think of them in the context of your life today and how you might be able to refocus on what’s important. Read on to learn about my experience with the challenge!

OK, I know what you’re thinking. Lizard brain? She’s officially reset herself back to crazy town. I promise I’m not crazy! Rosetta shared the concept of the lizard brain through the words of the infamous Seth Godin (if you don’t know who he is, you definitely should!): your lizard brain is the part of your mind that is resisting change. It stops you from moving forward, and it’s important to conquer it to accomplish your goals.

So, Rosetta encouraged us to write a letter to our lizard brain, acknowledging its presence and telling it to go away. It took me a few minutes to really understand what I had been resisting in my life… but when I looked at my life map and thought in context of why I haven’t achieved that vision, things started to fall into place. My lizard brain acts a little different than most I believe, it’s very cunning… instead of me procrastinating on something, my lizard brain distracts me with something else. Sneaky!!

Here’s my letter – using Rosetta’s template and tweaking it just a bit!

Dear Lizard Brain,

I’ve been noticing you popping up at certain points in my life. It seems like every time I want to do something for my own happiness and growth, you show up to tear me down.

You have me convinced that everything is all or nothing. While this can be a good quality (i.e. it has kept me on track for this 31 Day Reset), it can also be a burden or deter me from doing something altogether. For example, I keep putting off starting a workout routine because I’m too busy to follow a program religiously. Well why not do every other day? You have me convinced that if I’m not doing it every day, I shouldn’t bother to do it at all, which simply isn’t the case.

You make it seem as though everything will fall apart if I don’t continue to do everything as I’m supposed to. This led me to have only a week and a half off between jobs when I moved across the state and started a new school program. While I love the job, I wonder in hindsight why I couldn’t have taken a few months off. What’s the worst that would have happened?

Speaking of jobs, even though I’m all about career advancement, and I even applied for some jobs that were higher level, you still steered me to accept the same sort of position I’ve had for the past five years. Like I said, I appreciate the job I have now, but there’s no denying that it’s similar to what I’ve done before – it’s the safe choice, and I could do more.

Finally, you don’t allow me to prioritize something that this Reset has shown me is important to me: leisure time. I tell myself I want more relaxing time, yet I still book myself up with commitments.

So I see what you’re doing and I don’t like it. Yes, I know that you’re afraid of change. You’re afraid of what will happen if I succeed. But what you have to understand is that whatever happens in my life will work out for my good. I was put here on earth for a purpose and you are keeping me from fulfilling that potential.

Well, until now, you have.

I will no longer allow you to stop my progress in living my ideal life. So the next time I see you, I will simply give you a nod and go on about my business.

It’s been nice knowing you, but now it’s time that we part ways.

Sincerely,
Nonprofit Chapin
I loved composing that letter. I’ve never thought about the things I haven’t accomplished in the context of an area of my brain blocking them from happening. I’ve always thought… well I’m not sure. It was some magical outside force that wasn’t leading me there! In fact, I know who it is – it’s me. But no more!
-N.C.

31 Day Reset: Day 11 – Who I’m Accountable To

nonprofitchapin2 Comments

I’m participating in the 31 Days to Reset Your Life program at Happy Black Woman. The program is designed to help you evaluate your goals and priorities and think of them in the context of your life today and how you might be able to refocus on what’s important. Read on to learn about my experience with the challenge!

Today’s activity was to find an accountability partner. This person needs to be available for consistent updates on my progress toward my goals and will ask the difficult questions I don’t want to ask myself. It needs to be someone who will hold me responsible to make progress toward the life I envision and will stand firm when I try to make excuses.

I decided to ask my boyfriend to be my accountability partner. I know Rosetta suggested not using anyone too close to you – and of course he is – but when I sat down and thought about the person I’m ultimately accountable to… who sees every move I make, including when I’m on Facebook instead of doing my 31 Day Reset activity… he’s that person. I read him the description and asked if he’ll officially do the job, and he accepted.

Now, what exactly he’ll be holding me accountable to is the question I hope will be answered in the next few weeks!

-N.C.

31 Day Reset: Day 10 – Budget Reset

nonprofitchapin

I’m participating in the 31 Days to Reset Your Life program at Happy Black Woman. The program is designed to help you evaluate your goals and priorities and think of them in the context of your life today and how you might be able to refocus on what’s important. Read on to learn about my experience with the challenge!

The moment I saw the title for today’s reset exercise – Do One Thing – I knew what was in store. Rosetta asked us to take the elements we envisioned on our life map yesterday and do one of them. Complete the task or set it in motion. I had listed that I wanted a clear budget that could be easily followed. I made a budget probably around a year ago but hadn’t revised it since we moved, so everything from both of our incomes to the rent was different. I had been meaning to revise it but simply hadn’t had the time – everything else just seemed more important. Until tonight!

It felt so good to take a close look at our finances and see where we’re spending our money and what an equitable division of the bills and rent will be. We were pretty close to being right, but this solidifies our shots in the dark and makes them truths.

Thank you Rosetta for giving me an excuse to start my life map in action!

-N.C.

31 Day Reset: Day 9 – Life Map

nonprofitchapin4 Comments

I’m participating in the 31 Days to Reset Your Life program at Happy Black Woman. The program is designed to help you evaluate your goals and priorities and think of them in the context of your life today and how you might be able to refocus on what’s important. Read on to learn about my experience with the challenge!

Today’s exercise was to create a diagram in which you envision your ideal life. Each of the seven elements of life that we discussed on Day 2 were what we looked at to create this diagram.

I first took each of the seven areas and listed my ideal vision for them. After, I drew a circle in the middle (with my name in it) and seven circles coming from it that listed each of these areas. I took two of my main points for each one and wrote them next to it.

Lifestyle: Regular leisure time, living in a comfortable and stimulating environment

Work: Career where I can empower others, variety of tasks

Education: Continue to give and receive from the MNA program, don’t turn to costly education at every turn

Finances: Clear budget that can be followed easily, paying off debt and saving regularly

Health: Stable condition and healthy way of dealing with symptoms, stable mental health in regards to stress and anxiety

Family: Good balance of family and other commitments, supportive relationship

Relationships: Loving and supportive relationship, secure with knowing nothing is guaranteed

My map is now on my wall directly above my computer, next to my most important values. Great exercise to verify where I’d like to be in all of these areas.

-N.C.

31 Day Reset: Day 8 – The Reset Exercise Made for Nonprofit Chapin

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I’m participating in the 31 Days to Reset Your Life program at Happy Black Woman. The program is designed to help you evaluate your goals and priorities and think of them in the context of your life today and how you might be able to refocus on what’s important. Read on to learn about my experience with the challenge!

If you know me, or if you’ve followed my blog before, you know that there’s one thing I’m crazy about, and that’s gratitude (see How to Give Thanks Every Day). So when I read today’s exercise I was stoked! Write five things you’re grateful for today.

Actually at first I thought – this is going to be a breeze. I could list 26 things I’m grateful for right now. But, when I sat down to write them out, and thought big picture – it was more difficult than I thought. More difficult, at least, to articulate what exactly I’m grateful for and why.

Here are my five items.

Security: I have food, water, shelter, clothes, and a job that provides the money I need to sustain these things. There are so many people who aren’t blessed to be born into the situation I have been. This has given me the foundation I needed to understand what I want in life and the motivation to go for it.

People: My family and friends. They support me in so many ways (emotionally, financially, mentally) and they even challenge me when I need it. I have a great network of people whom I know I can turn to whenever I need, and I love that! They really are my sustenance.

Boyfriend: Notice I didn’t put my boyfriend in People? That’s because he deserves his own line. I can’t begin to describe how grateful I am of him. He supports me through everything (he moved 500 miles with me because I wanted to, he was next to me when I got an important diagnosis and learned how to administer treatment with me, the list goes on and on). He encourages me while I explore my interests and work on personal development – in the eight days I’ve worked on the 31 Day Reset, he has done the dishes twice. And that’s a big deal because he does all the cooking so I’m supposed to do all the cleaning!

Job: Although it can be stressful at times, I do have a pretty great set up at work. I have very supportive supervisors who are mindful of my professional development and personal sanity. They encourage me to work hard and tell me I’m doing a great job. I have great colleagues in general, and the pay is very reasonable. It’s a supportive environment for me while I go to school, and I am so grateful for that.

USF MNA Program: Speaking of school, I’m grateful for the program I’m participating in, the Master of Nonprofit Administration program at University of San Francisco. The program is great because it’s giving me the tools to be the master of my future. Without the background of knowledge and best practices I’m getting from the program, I don’t believe I would be able to go in any direction as easily.

That’s it in a nutshell! It’s very interesting to see the trend of support… I appreciate when others are supportive of me. I feel all warm and fuzzy now… this is a wonderful exercise to be able to look back on to when times aren’t feeling so great!

-N.C.

31 Day Reset: Day 7 – Reflecting

nonprofitchapin

I’m participating in the 31 Days to Reset Your Life program at Happy Black Woman. The program is designed to help you evaluate your goals and priorities and think of them in the context of your life today and how you might be able to refocus on what’s important. Read on to learn about my experience with the challenge!

There wasn’t a new exercise today, just the chance to reflect on what I’ve learned so far and to read what other participants have contributed.

The most interesting thing I’ve leaned about myself is how important it is to me to genuinely connect with others, continuing to shape my conviction so that I can proudly act with my beliefs in mind. I previously thought myself to be more of an individual who likes her private time but I think I feed off of others’ energy more than I realized.

Day 6, creating the personal mission statement, was definitely the day I struggled with the most. I found it challenging to not have structure or a guideline on how to write the statement, so I found myself trying to organize my thoughts and prioritize, which was difficult. It felt very free form, which can be hard for me.

I got the opportunity to read the thoughts of some of my peers and I found it to be very interesting and inspirational. They have some great attitudes and I hope to have the same courage as I continue through my journey.

-N.C.

31 Day Reset: Day 6 – A Balancing Act of Values

nonprofitchapin2 Comments

I’m participating in the 31 Days to Reset Your Life program at Happy Black Woman. The program is designed to help you evaluate your goals and priorities and think of them in the context of your life today and how you might be able to refocus on what’s important. Read on to learn about my experience with the challenge!

This was a difficult one!! Today we developed our personal mission statement. Rosetta quoted the following as the definition of a personal mission statement:

Your personal mission statement should be a concise representation of what’s most important to you, what you desire to focus on, what you want to achieve, and, ultimately, who you want to become. In its purest form, it’s an approach to your life, one that allows you to identify a focus of energy, creativity, and vision in living a life in support of your inner-most beliefs and values.

Um, yeah. That sounds really easy. No!!! This was difficult. But Rosetta told us to focus on our values and values in action to create this statement. Once I took each value and wrote out a sentence for it, things flowed a little better.

Well, it’s always changing, but here’s what I’ve come up with!

I always live with my values in balance, making sure everything that’s important to me gets the attention it deserves (and nothing gets too much). It’s important to me to always be a role model to others by acting with integrity, being compassionate and generous, and showing quiet conviction. I incorporate leadership into my life by showing initiative, going for opportunities at full force, and always acting with respect for others. I make a difference and will leave a legacy by paying it forward at every opportunity, creating big lasting change, and impacting others through my actions and attitude. It’s important to me to always be generous, always contributing to the nonprofit sector (with time and money) and being available to my friends and family. I make it a priority to spend time with those I love and who love me, deeply connecting with them and encouraging them to challenge me. I value learning from others and make it a priority to expose myself to new people and perspectives and put myself in new situations so I can form new connections.

I would love to hear your thoughts, especially those of you who know me and can tell me: do any of these things surprise you? Are there elements you think are obvious in the way I act? Unbelievable? I know how I feel, but would love to know what my friends and family think!

-N.C.