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Author: nonprofitchapin

31 Day Reset: Day 5 – Walking the Talk

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I’m participating in the 31 Days to Reset Your Life program at Happy Black Woman. The program is designed to help you evaluate your goals and priorities and think of them in the context of your life today and how you might be able to refocus on what’s important. Read on to learn about my experience with the challenge!

Yesterday I determined my top ten values, today is the beginning of envisioning these values in action. I started out by rating each value on a scale of 1-10 of how I’m acting them out today. I actually feel I’m living all of them (except having a family of course) more than a 5, so that’s good.

But Part 2 was more enlightening for me, because that’s where I went into depth about what it means to see these values in action. I wrote three actions I currently take or could be taking for each value. Here’s a few of the a-ha moments I had.

Leaving a legacy / Making a difference: While I rated myself as lower on leaving a legacy and higher on making a difference, when I was challenged to think of actions that fit with each area, I actually wrote the same three thoughts!

  1. Impacting others through my actions and attitude
  2. Paying it forward at every opportunity
  3. Creating big, lasting change

It’s made me realize that I define leaving a legacy and making a difference in the same way. It’s important to me to make a difference to others around me, and through that difference I make, I impact the way others act, which will maintain its ripple effect. I strongly believe in the power of one.

Being a role model: The idea of being a role model sounds wonderful but where do you begin to describe it? Here’s what I came up with.

  1. Always showing compassion and generosity
  2. Living my values with balance
  3. Showing strong conviction

Being an introvert, showing strong conviction is not normally something I consciously strive for. However, in thinking of it in context of being a role model, it makes a lot of sense. A role model is someone who doesn’t just have beliefs, she acts on behalf of them. That’s something I strive to do more in my life.

Connecting with others: My first thoughts in this regard is of course strengthening the already strong relationships with those I love. But I was surprised that my mind also led me in the direction of new connections.

  1. Spending time with friends who challenge me to talk deeply and consider what I’m saying
  2. Open myself to new people and perspectives
  3. Put myself in new situations where I learn from others

Truly opening myself up to others is something I hope to improve on. Because I want to experience as many different types of people and personalities I can; it will only strengthen my knowledge and confidence!

This was a great exercise. It made me realize which of those top ten really are the ones I’m passionate about and which ones I’d like to delve further into. Who knew that I subconsciously was hoping I would show strong conviction?

-N.C.

31 Day Reset: Day 4 – My Top Ten Values

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I’m participating in the 31 Days to Reset Your Life program at Happy Black Woman. The program is designed to help you evaluate your goals and priorities and think of them in the context of your life today and how you might be able to refocus on what’s important. Read on to learn about my experience with the challenge!

I had a leg up on Day 4’s exercise, because I’ve actually done something similar before. We were asked to take some time to write down everything we value, anything that we care about – at least more than 12. Then, we needed to designate from that list the ten we felt were at the top.

In the previous exercise I did, I had narrowed it down to five. I did the original exercise with Deirdre Maloney; you can read about her company Momentum San Diego here. And not surprisingly, those five were on my list again (I didn’t do the exercise that long ago). But I found my additional five to be very interesting. I had to very, very selective to do the first five – but now I had the opportunity to list other parts of my life that were important.

My original five: Being generous, leadership, leaving a legacy, love, making a difference

The five I added tonight: Being a role model, connecting with others, having a family, integrity, succeeding in my career

I think being a role model and connecting with others are the two that jump out to me most. Being a role model perhaps is my elaboration of leadership, leaving a legacy, and making a difference all at the same time. It’s important to me to always conduct myself in a way that others respect and love. I also value making connections – this is why my friendships and relationships with my family are so important to me – because connecting with others is an important part of my life.

I encourage you to do this exercise, too! Doing the original five was so eye opening to me, and allowed me to understand the underlying motivation for everything I do.

-N.C.

31 Day Reset: Day 3 – Love Letter

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I’m participating in the 31 Days to Reset Your Life program at Happy Black Woman. The program is designed to help you evaluate your goals and priorities and think of them in the context of your life today and how you might be able to refocus on what’s important. Read on to learn about my experience with the challenge!

I was out of town this weekend so I’m a day late on this exercise, but better late than never!

Day 3’s exercise is to write a love letter to your future self. I actually wrote the letter and put it into a program that will email it to you later… mine will be coming in a month. For the letter, I took the seven parts of my life that I evaluated yesterday and instead of what I liked or disliked about each, I wrote what I love… or hope that I will love in the future, as a result of this program. I’m not quite sure that I did the assignment correctly, but I basically wrote my goal for each area, or what I’d like to ideally see for myself. For example:

Lifestyle: I love that you have prioritized leisure time in your life.

Work: I love that you appreciate the work you’re doing but don’t stress over it.

Finances: I love that you have a budget and plan to pay off debt and save.

I guess the hope is that with these goals you will slowly begin to believe that they can come true. I certainly hope so!

-N.C.

31 Day Reset: Day 2 – A Lifestyle Surprise

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I’m participating in the 31 Days to Reset Your Life program at Happy Black Woman. The program is designed to help you evaluate your goals and priorities and think of them in the context of your life today and how you might be able to refocus on what’s important. Read on to learn about my experience with the challenge!

Today’s assignment was meant to take an honest assessment of my life. For each of seven areas (lifestyle, work, education, finances, health, family, and relationships) I wrote down what I like and what I dislike about each piece. The only way to identify where you’re going is to start with where you are.

More than what I actually wrote for each area – i.e., I dislike the workload that comes along with my Masters program – I learned more from the amount of things I wrote for each area. Here are a few things that jumped out at me.

Lifestyle: I had by far the least amount of things to write here. Either like or dislike. I could think of one thing I like and two I dislike. Rosetta described lifestyle as “satisfaction with where you live/living environment, how you spend your leisure time these days.” Um – leisure time? What’s that? And while I like our apartment, I’m not in love with the neighborhood we live in… it’s in a convenient location in relation to all my commitments… but why are my commitments driving all other aspects of my life? I wasn’t happy to see that I don’t have much to put in lifestyle… when I really value being able to take time for myself…

Work: Just this past weekend, I was complaining that work was stressful and that my next job should have less stress. But my like to dislike ratio for work? It’s 6:2. So when I’m feeling overwhelmed or stressed, it will be good for me to remember there are several things I love about my job – I have great colleagues, wonderful professional development opportunities, and I’m making a difference.

Health: Woh boy. I thought this was going to be a huge focus on the dislike and hardly any like, as I have a pretty serious health condition, something I’ve been struggling with lately. I was surprised to see that while I had a long dislike list, my like list was almost as long. Similarly to work, I have so much to be thankful for with my health – I have recently lost weight to get into my healthy range, I have an answer to my questions around my health, and I can be more proactive in treating it and learning about it.

I guess overall I identified that there are some areas that are great (work, health) and some that need work (lifestyle – my surprise category). I hope that in this next month I can use this information to help shape my future.

-N.C.

31 Day Reset: Day 1 – Letting Go & Corinne Bailey Rae

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I’m participating in the 31 Days to Reset Your Life program on Happy Black Woman. The personal development program is designed by the woman who inspired me to start this blog, and continues to inspire me with her insightful work and life tips – Rosetta Thurman. I heard about this program a few months back but kept thinking I was too busy with school (which is true). Therefore, as I finished my last session on Tuesday, the timing is perfect to do some life reflection!

The program has a daily challenge to help you explore areas of your life. We all know I’m in no rut – in fact, with work and school, I’m on the fast track. Maybe too fast. So I thought I’d take this opportunity to think about what’s important to me in the 156 things I do each day. I hope this will help me focus on those things.

I hope to blog about my experience whenever I get the chance! I hope you enjoy the journey alongside me!

Journal: Day 1 starts with getting a journal to respond to the prompts in (in addition to blogging). In my effort to become more of a minimalist, I actually sold or gave away all the blank journals I had at my garage sale back in May. So, in the 20 minute window of time I had today, I stopped at CVS and picked one up. It’s sweet, very neutral, and calming – because instead of necessarily being energized, I’m hoping to become more focused through this process.

Personal Mantra: Rosetta’s asked us to choose a personal mantra, a quote that helps frame what we’d like this experience to be for us. Of course I have a million quotes that are about conquering the world and helping others… but I wanted this one to be different. To focus on happiness in its simplest form.

“We can travel a long way and do many things, but our deepest happiness is not born from accumulating new experiences. It is born from letting go of what is unnecessary, and knowing ourselves to be always at home.” – Sharon Salzberg

Theme Song: The song should be something that is motivational during your journey. I chose the song Girl Put Your Records On by Corinne Bailey Rae. The lyrics really speak to me – themes that stood out were letting your hair down, finding yourself, it’s alright to feel afraid, and it’s OK to be wrong. It’s a great song that I know will continue to inspire me this month!

-N.C.

How to Give Thanks Every Day

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Thanksgiving is so wonderful, because so many people are focusing on one of my favorite things in the world: gratitude. And while I enjoy all the Facebook posts, tweets, and texts of gratitude – the question is, why can’t we do that every day? In every aspect of our lives?

Here are a few ways you can be grateful every day.

  • Say thank you. I know it sounds obvious, but you would be surprised how few people actually do it! So often people think, well obviously I’m grateful, so why do I need to actually say those two words? My personal mantra is that you can’t say thank you enough. Any time anyone does something nice – thank them! And it doesn’t have to be for you – if you notice someone doing something nice for someone else, feel free to thank them also! You’ll be surprised how much it makes their day.
  • Think big picture. It’s obviously incredibly overwhelming to think of all the inequalities in the world, so think big picture but in a small way. Think about your neighbor who got laid off and can’t find a new job. Think of the homeless man you pass every day on your way to work. Now think about your situation. Not so bad, is it? If you have a roof over your head, a refrigerator with food, and clothes in your closet, you’re part of a very lucky few. Remember that in everything you do.
  • Consider what you have and why it matters. Think of the things you value in your life, and whether you could work toward them in the same capacity if you weren’t so fortunate. One of my most important values is leaving a legacy. Yes, a legacy can be left even at the ground level, but I am fortunate to have been given the opportunities I needed to now be in a position where I can create change, and leave a legacy, on a bigger scale. I am grateful for the resources I have been given, not just because I can survive, but because they are helping me live out my most important values.

I love Thanksgiving because it encourages people to evaluate the things in their life for which they are grateful. But why can’t we do that every day? I’m here to say we can, and I hope the above three suggestions help you remember what you’re thankful for.

-N.C.

Donors are People, Too!

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I’ve noticed an “us versus them” attitude with fundraisers and donors. Us development staff spend hours trying to understand what motivates, inspires, and eventually causes donors to give. What makes them happy. What makes them sad. Heck, there are countless studies on what day of the week and time of day donors are on Facebook!

I understand the value of understanding the art of giving – and I appreciate that people want to understand what donors want instead of cramming solicitations down their throat. But when does this interest go too far?

I’m here to make a bold statement.

Donors are people, too!

Development staff get so wrapped up in understanding what donors might want that they get scared to do anything at all. Acknowledgement letters go out without personal notes. Major donors don’t get regular calls. Volunteers are never asked for money.

We need to make a change. The next time you send an appeal to a donor you know recently donated, take two minutes to hand write a note to thank them. On a random day, call up a major donor just to say thank you. Sending an acknowledgment letter to someone who gives regularly? Reference that!

These are not big changes. They’re small, but I promise you they make a world of difference. When was the last time you got anything hand written in the mail? Follow the golden rule – for every donor you work with, treat them the way you want to be treated. Simply acknowledge that they’re special.

Because donors are people, too.

-N.C.

What To Do When You’re Really Good at Something You Hate

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Earlier this week I prepared my self evaluation for my 90 day review. My supervisor and I met to go over it and she briefly told me that she’s going to prepare something official, but in the meantime, she wanted me to know I was doing well. And then she added the thing that has most impressed her about my work in these first three months.

When you managed registration at Winners! You were so great, greeting guests and keeping everything organized. You had it all figured out – it was really outstanding!

Something you may or may not know about me is that I hate events. Definitely my least favorite part of fundraising. And yes, Winners is the annual gala – an event.

My first reaction to this feedback was: Really? I’ve been doing all this other work and that’s what you point out?? But I decided to use this moment to understand more about her opinion. Here are a few things I suggest you identify when you get this feedback – that you’re really good at something you hate.

  • Identify what made you great. My time managing the registration desk and volunteers clearly stood out to my supervisor. Why? Well, I did everything from determine the check in process, to setting up materials, to training the volunteers, to greeting guests and introducing myself. And she didn’t have to ask me to do one thing. In short, I took initiative. I stood out because when I overheard a volunteer say a board member’s name, I took their nametag over to them and introduced myself. For me, taking the initiative is something that has come with time and experience. Hearing this feedback made me feel like I’m in a good place with that journey.
  • Identify something about it that you love. So I lied when I said I hate events. I hate event planning… but there are elements to the actual event that I love. Relationship building is one of those things, and that’s absolutely something that is essential to a good registration experience. I didn’t just stand there after training the volunteers, I met as many people as I could. And relationship building is the heart of fundraising – so it’s a good thing I love it!
  • Identify what you can translate to your other (more well-liked) duties. Something I can work on in my day to day job that I excelled at that night is to always be outgoing. As an introvert, I like to hear what others have to say before I chime in. That night I always spoke first – I threw caution to the wind and went for it. This is definitely something I can use when speaking with donors in other realms.

I guess there are worse things in life than being told you’re really good at something you hate. Like being told you’re really bad at something you love! But, as silly as it sounds, it’s actually a bit frustrating to hear. I hope these tips help you understand the feedback. I know they’ve helped me.

-N.C.

Thoughts on the Future

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As always, I’ve been tossing around ideas about my future lately. I have my five most important values posted on my wall so that I’m reminded of them every day. One of them is making a difference. But what I haven’t really asked myself is…

What does it mean to make a difference?

I’ve always thought of making a difference in the traditional way. Take a visible leadership role and make change in your community. Participate in advocacy, educate your peers, and take an active role in changing the world. Pick up litter. Smile at a stranger. Recycle. You know, that sort of thing.

But last night I thought… what if I’m thinking too small? What if I’m being too close minded about what making a difference can mean? I’ve shared on here that I’m open to being a nonprofit consultant in the future (see my post Updating My About Me Page). But lately I think I might have shifted that thinking from being a possibility to being a strong possibility. Even stronger than becoming a CEO.

My time in the Master of Nonprofit Administration program at USF will be so useful in a consultant capacity. I’ll be able to use my skills and knowledge with a large breadth of organizations. The work will be varied and interesting. And, the responsibility will be different.

I have to admit, I have a hard time shouldering a large amount of responsibility. I get very wrapped up in doing everyone proud that I drive myself a little nuts (see my post I Am an Overachiever). Being a consultant would be a different type of responsibility. I can be a partner with a CEO to assist them with implementation, but not be the sole person creating change. I can be in the supporting role, much like I loved being an advisor to student organizations at UCSD (namely, Alternative Breaks). It’s a different type of responsibility, and one that very much attracts me.

As always, things change. But the important thing is that I’m continually thinking about what will make me happy and what works best for my future. And I think this just might be the ticket.

-N.C.

How to Take the Initiative

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I’ve read a few posts lately about the importance of taking the initiative. Initiative is one of those elusive buzzwords that we all know we should have, but don’t necessarily understand why or how to get it. We want to balance decision making with collaboration. How?

Here are a few of my personal mantras that I use in my professional life to help me take the initiative.

  • Never ask a question, always propose a solution. Think about the question you’re about to go to your supervisor with. What would you do if she wasn’t there? What would you do if you had total control over the decision making? Nine times out of ten that’s the thing you should do (especially if you have experience in the field). Go to your supervisor with your proposal and see what she says. Trust me, initiative will be the first word that comes to her mind in thinking about your performance.
  • Be opinionated. Nothing’s worse than an ambivalent worker. If you work in a nonprofit, chances are you’re passionate about your work – let that come across in your conversations with your peers. When you’re asked a question, give a thoughtful, honest answer with your opinion. Even if it’s not the opinion of the majority, you will be respected for your contribution and will be looked at as someone with valuable insight.
  • If you think it should be done, do it! This is a quick and easy way to make sure you’re taking the initiative. It’s easy to sit back and criticize, or wonder, shouldn’t ______ be happening? If you’re helping to coordinate a mailing and you know you’ll need a certain amount of labels, envelopes, postage… well, check the supply cabinet. Go to your supervisor and let her know that you’ll need to order more envelopes. I have moments when I’m not sure whether I’m overstepping my boundaries of my job description… and those are usually the ones I get the most praise for later.
  • Learn to manage up. Your supervisor can’t read your mind. Heck, your mother can’t even read your mind. Express yourself to your supervisor and tell her your goals. If she doesn’t react the way you want, remember that her attitude doesn’t determine your job performance. Identify your supervisor’s strengths and weaknesses and work with them in the same way she should work with you. It’s easy to blame a bad boss on laying off the initiative – don’t let that happen.

Taking the initiative doesn’t have to be difficult. And you don’t have to be an extrovert to do it. It’s simply about being aware of the big picture and doing whatever you can to help everyone get to the end. Good luck and go get ’em!

-N.C.